Searching And Working

Last week some huge changes have hit our family.  The first one came last Tuesday, and it was that Mirin was accepted to a new charter middle/highschool.  He had been #2 on the list at the beginning of the year, but we didn't expect him to be accepted so soon.  He started Monday for the first time ever at a "real" school experience.

The second and biggest change came on Friday (exactly like the Fox in Chanticleer).  Ethan was laid off from his job.  Usually his pay is cut back during the winter, but this came as a complete surprise.  He has worked there for eight years, and has been heavily involved in designing the systems his company marketed.  It wasn't, as is to be expected of the corporate machine, personal.  They also laid off most of the other people in his department.  He was told to leave immediately, and had to return hours later after the rest of the lay-offs had been to the chopping block with HR to get all of his tools he had been letting the company use for years and say goodbye to the friends and co-workers.

We have spent the past four days trying to process what has happened, working as hard as possible on all the work that we have been behind on with the farm and around the house.  We have been enjoying being together, feeling grateful for each other.

Now we find ourselves facing survival in the face of the unknown.  A death of our old life.  With growing our own food and being very thrifty, we were fairly comfortable with our upper-poverty-class lifestyle, but in many ways we wanted this change, but it was the fear that held us back.  We have three children we are responsible for, and their experience of childhood is important to us.

We are trying not to get stuck in the shock part, not to be stuck in the anger, frustration and fear.  Instead, this is a freeing opportunity, a cleansing moment, a step onto a new threshold from which we can't turn back.


One thing seems clear - our old life is gone.  We will never have it back.  This is not the time to be looking over our shoulders and mourning what we have lost, but to be looking forward and drawing on our experiences and skills.  When old things are taken down, when old structures are shattered, when the routine is broken - what is left but to love each other, be grateful for what we do have, and to delight in the way that anything could happen.